12 Posting: Keep it Going Luke!

Wow!  In a week we went from bad, to mediocre, to great!  A good part of me doesn't want to get too excited about what's been happening.  Maybe it's a superstitious part that doesn't want to "jinx" it.  Still, I can't hold back the hope that is welling up inside.  I guess we'll take it as long as Luke is willing to give it!

Luke's oxygen levels went from the mid-thirties, upper forties to mid to low TWENTIES.  If you recall, room oxygen is 21%.  That is definitely where we want to be!  His amplitude has also been reduced to 30% where just a couple of days ago it was 34%.  Once he gets down to 20% on the amplitude he'll be extubated.  The ventilator will be removed and we'll be able to hear him cry.  His frequency setting is now 15% on the oscillator which is the best reading you can get for this.  I know, most of this sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but for those going through the NICU process, it makes sense.  I'll translate for the rest of you.  Luke is on his way!

Because he's doing so well, the doctor has now recommended that Luke be held once a day.  Yes, you read right, we get to hold him!!!  Chris did the honors on Saturday.  Luke was just a day over three weeks old.  Gestationally, his age was 31 weeks and 2 days.  It was so cute watching Luke snuggle up to Chris.  He actually did something called "kangaroo care".  That's when the baby is put on the parent's chest, skin on skin.  Studies have shown this type of interaction helps the baby developmentally.  Who'd have thought the sense of touch could be so powerful!  I'll get my first time with him on Monday, tomorrow.  As much as I would have liked to be the first to hold my boy, Chris really has a special place in his heart for the little babies.  When our girls were younger, he was the one who'd sit with them for hours.  I, in turn, enjoy when the kids get a little bigger and can interact more.  We're a perfect pair.  So anyway, I knew he should be the one to do the honors.  If you could have seen the look on Chris' face, you would have agreed.

Every so often, a memory overwhelms me of that day so long ago when we sat in the emergency room being told our baby had no chance of survival.  To think if we would have listened to the advice of termination we wouldn't have this little gift.  Absolutely amazing.  I still can't say I know what the outcome will be, but no matter what, I'll always be thankful that I know my little man and cherish what a fighter he is.

As for my recovery, I'm getting there.  The incision doesn't really hurt anymore. I still get incredibly tired but that's slowly improving.  Last week when I went to church, it was a struggle to get through the hour.  This week, it didn't feel bad at all.  I've also been having some issues with guilt.  All these responsibilities I feel obligated to do, but my body says, "not yet!".  When I left the hospital, I was told to take it easy.  You know, I really don't know how.  I wish they would have given more concrete directions.  Since I have no gauge, I go, go, go until my legs won't move anymore.  I know that's probably not what the doctor was thinking, but really, I don't know how else to do it.  It's either all or nothing babe.  I will be very happy when my energy level is back AND I lose this 30 pounds of baby weight.  Having absolutely nothing to wear doesn't help my mental state either!